The Freedom of Remaining Untamed

 

I keep getting messages about how I need to be seen more, be louder, be more intrusive. Messages saying I’m meant to be famous. But being famous has never truly been a goal of mine.

As a matter of fact, ever since I was a kid, I told myself I would never meet a celebrity. Which is ironic now that I think about it. Maybe that mindset came from conditioning. Fame feels rare, distant, unreachable, so why would I ever make it a goal?

But after experiencing the things I have experienced energetically and spiritually... I wouldn’t want that life anyway.

It took me a long time to stop seeking validation outside of myself. And to me, fame and celebrity culture rely heavily on external validation. Not necessarily at the fault of the celebrity, either. That’s just the nature of the beast. That descent into the underworld would have to be extremely deep to escape that type of conditioning. And this journey is already hard enough without adding another layer on top of it.

I’m good on that.

Maybe that’s why so many people can’t handle fame. To constantly need or crave validation outside of yourself? That sounds exhausting. You would have to be rooted within yourself so deeply for that not to slowly destroy you.

We already have so many prisons and boxes to break out of. Fame just doesn’t sound or feel like freedom to me. It feels like another restrictive container where you constantly have to perform 🎭

I don’t think you can truly be yourself inside those types of boxes.

Once again, it just doesn’t feel like freedom.

Maybe that’s why my only true goal and ambition, especially in this part of my life, is to travel.

I have lived so many different lives within this one life. But most of those lives were built around other people’s expectations, projections, limitations, fears, desires. This is the life where I make the rules. The life where I create a reality based on who I truly am.

My identity is shifting. Shifting into a sovereign being that isn’t afraid to be seen, but also refuses to compromise herself just to be understood.

I need to be proud of me.

And honestly? I am proud of me.

Because I have overcome so many things. I have gone into the underworld and dug through the depths of my own soul just to find myself again. I did that shit. And it wasn’t easy.

I kicked.
I screamed.
I cried.
I raged.
I cursed the very ground beneath the people who hurt me, betrayed me, mishandled me, and misused me.

But every single time I went down there, I came back renewed. More sovereign. Stronger. Wiser.

I don’t think my goals are strange or unusual goals. They’re just not common ones. Some people dream of becoming doctors, lawyers, or astronauts. Well... I definitely wanted to be an astronaut at one point, but honestly, that still involves travel 😭 so there it is again.

I just don’t have the ambition to spend my life working for other people forever.
I don’t have the ambition to constantly perform for other people.
Eventually, you hit a glass ceiling, and then what? 👀

Traveling feels expansive.

You explore new places.
Connect with different people.
See the sun and moon rise from completely different horizons.

I know I’m making it sound all romantical. (And yes, romantical is absolutely a word today 😬)

But it sounds like one of the closest things to freedom we can experience.

Because technically, we’re already souls encapsulated inside meat suits. That’s already a prison, a box, a container in itself. Why would we keep creating more boxes to trap ourselves inside of?

It’s giving Russian Doll energy, and I don’t like that for anyone... especially not me.

Just something I’ve been pondering lately.

Maybe it’s something you’ve pondered too.