The Transition Is Happening...

I am back in the States, but not for long.

I have been in this liminal space for a while. My travels through Central and South America were just a test run of what I'm truly about to do. Three countries, a month and a half, and a whole lot of figuring shit out as I went along. 😂

When I first left, I knew I wanted something different. I knew I wanted to travel and experience more of the world, but there is a difference between imagining a life and actually living it.

I needed to know what traveling alone would feel like. I needed to know how I would handle being somewhere unfamiliar, navigating language barriers, transportation, Airbnbs, airports, money, loneliness, uncertainty, and all the little things you can't completely prepare for until you're actually in them.

And now I know.

There were definitely moments when I was uncomfortable. There were moments when I questioned what the hell I was doing. There were moments that scared me, challenged me, frustrated me, and stretched me way outside of what was familiar.

But there were also moments when I felt more expansive, curious, and alive than I had in a very long time.

Somewhere along the way, the experiment became confirmation.

I can actually live this way.

So even though I am back, I don't necessarily feel like I have returned to my old life.

That life is changing too.

A lot of transformations and transitions are happening around me at once. Both of my daughters are moving, and right now I am helping them pack up and move into another house that they are sharing with a friend of theirs. They are stepping further into their own independence at the same time that I am stepping further into mine.

That's a big transition for me.

I have spent so much of my adult life being a mother and provider, and now I'm moving toward becoming an independent nomad. Motherhood isn't disappearing, of course, but the role is changing. My daughters don't need me in the same way they once did, and I don't need to build my entire life around being needed anymore.

There is freedom in that, but there is also an adjustment.

And I think all of us deserve some time to adjust to what our lives are becoming.

47...

My birthday is another part of this transition.

I just turned 47, and numerologically, 47 carries 11/2 energy. What makes that especially interesting to me is that 46 reduced to 1.

Looking back at my 46th year, 1 energy makes a whole lot of sense.

One represents new beginnings, independence, self-focus, initiative, taking bold action, and being willing to take risks.

And I definitely did that.

I bought a one-way ticket and left the country alone for the first time at 46. I stopped waiting for the perfect circumstances and started experiencing the life I had spent years imagining.

Now 47 brings me into 11/2 energy.

Two carries a different energy: intuition, receptivity, connection, cooperation, patience, sensitivity, and balance. And 11, as a master number, adds another layer of intuition, spiritual awareness, inspiration, and learning to trust what I sense even when I don't know exactly where it is leading me.

It almost feels like 46 was about going, while 47 may be about allowing.

And allowing is its own challenge for me.

I know how to take action. I know how to figure things out. I know how to survive uncertainty when I have to. I've proven those things to myself plenty of times.

Maybe this next chapter isn't asking me to prove that again.

Maybe it's asking me to experience uncertainty differently.

Not every unknown needs to become a problem that I have to solve immediately.

Maybe I can be curious about what happens next without demanding to know what happens next.

Home, But Not Staying...

For now, I am going to stay quiet for a while.

My adventures will start back up again soon, but I think I need this time in between. Not because I feel stuck or because the adventure has ended, but because I have a lot to integrate.

So much changed internally while I was traveling, and now my external life is changing too.

My daughters are moving into their next chapter. I am preparing for mine. And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I get to just be still for a minute.

Their birthdays are coming up in September, and I want to be here to celebrate with them before I take off again.

I've also made a promise that once I begin living as a nomad, I will come back home regularly. Maybe every three months at first. Then four. Then five or six as we all settle into our new lives. And, of course, I plan to come home for Christmas and New Year's.

I'm happy with this compromise.

Because becoming independent doesn't mean becoming disconnected.

I don't want my freedom to require abandoning the relationships I love, and I don't think being present for the people I love requires abandoning myself either.

There has to be room for both.

Maybe that's part of the 2 energy too: learning how to remain myself while still being deeply connected to other people.

Not either/or.

Both.

Then, I'm Off Again...

This next leg of my journey is especially interesting to me because I have been looking more closely at my astrocartography map.

Two lines in particular have caught my attention: my Venus Descendant line and Moon Descendant line. What fascinates me is that they surround areas of the world I was already drawn toward before I ever looked closely at the map.

In astrocartography, Descendant lines are associated with the way we experience ourselves through relationships, encounters, and the people we meet. A Venus Descendant line is traditionally associated with connection, attraction, harmony, beauty, pleasure, and relationships, while a Moon Descendant line emphasizes emotional connection, intuition, belonging, familiarity, and the ways other people can stir our inner world.

I already have a few destinations in mind for this next chapter, but I'm going to keep those to myself for now. 😉

I don't know what these places will hold for me.

And that's actually the exciting part.

I'm not looking at my astrocartography map as a promise that something specific is waiting for me in these places. I'm more fascinated by the synchronicity of feeling drawn toward certain parts of the world and then discovering that these particular lines are nearby.

It makes me even more curious about what I might experience there, who I might meet, and even what parts of myself those places might reflect back to me.

And maybe that's another part of this transition.

I spent 46 in the energy of 1: moving, initiating, choosing myself, taking risks, and proving to myself that I could actually step into the life I wanted.

Now I am 47, moving into the energy of 11/2: intuition, receptivity, connection, patience, cooperation, and relationship.

And somehow my map is pointing my attention toward Descendant lines, lines concerned with the realm of the other.

Interesting. 🤔

Leaving Room for the Unknown...

There is so much uncertainty and unknown-ness in the air.

I don't know exactly what my life will look like six months from now. I don't know all the places I will end up. I don't know who I will meet, what experiences will find me, what plans will change, or what unexpected doors will open.

And strangely enough, I don't feel the same urgency to know anymore.

For someone who has had such a complicated relationship with uncertainty, that might be one of the biggest transitions happening.

I used to think uncertainty meant I needed more information. More answers. More preparation. Something concrete that would tell me everything was going to be okay.

But traveling taught me something about that.

I can prepare, but I cannot pre-live my life.

Some things can only reveal themselves when I get there.

So for once in my spiritual life, I'm going to stay in that energy.

I am going to make my plans. I am going to follow what feels right. I am going to remain open to changing course. And I'm going to leave some blank spaces in the itinerary.

I don't need to know the whole story yet.

I'm going to let the Universe surprise me. 🙂🌹